Chapter 45

"W-what?" I could hear Raven stammer behind, but my mind was otherwise preoccupied. I've heard about shifting. We were taught about it. How it is painful because your bones are basically shifting, re- aligning themselves to those of a wolf. There's always been an excitement towards someone's first shift... but along with that, there is always fear. Fear of the oncoming pain. I won't lie and say that I am not nervous. I am, but at the stime, I am at peace. I mean the pains of shifting can't be as bad as the ones from yesterday, right? "Will you slow down, Sadie?" Raven says out of breath, as she falls into step beside me. "I can't" I reply while crossing the threshold of the main back door. "I want to get this over and done with, and Nyx wants to run and hunt.” It's normal for wolves to hunt. It's in our nature. Whether it's big or small animals, it gives them a kind of thrill. There isn't much difference between us and normal wolves, and unlike popular beliefs about werewolves, we don't eat raw meat. It's disgusting, and it's demeaning that humans think we are into that kind of thing. "Fuck, Sadie, can you please explain to us what's happening?" King demands, grabbing my hand and stopping my movement. I feel irritated when his skin touches mine, so I pull my hand from his. The fire insidewas rising as the seconds passes by. It was like a need that was burning inside. It felt like something was crawling from the depths of my soul, seeking a way out. "Look, I don't know any more than you do" I begin while watching sof my warriors train. "Nyx hasn't really been forthcoming with information about who I am and what the hell is happening." "So you're telling us that she hasn't said a single thing?" Raven pushes, looking confused and in disbelief. "That is exactly what I am saying" I reply, my feet tapping nervously on the grass beneath me. "But why?" this comes from King. “It doesn't make sense. Surely, now that you have changed into a being with literal wings, she can at least explain what or who you are.” My eyes shift from my two friends to the forest a few feet from me. When we got this land, it was by sheer lack that it had been unclaimed. I didn't want anything near a city, I mostly wanted something secluded. Splace where it was so far away from human settlement that we didn't have to worry about werewolves shifting, vampires using their super speed and strength, or witches practicing their powers freely. "Can I please just leave? We can discuss all this later," I face King, directing my next sentence at him. "You know how it feels when you first shift. You know the need and the pull. The fire burning inside you. You are both standing. in the way of the shifting process, and it's starting to piss Nyx off." Normally, Nyx loves the two. She is patient with them and hardly ever has a problem with them. Right now, though, she was growling and snarling at them. They were standing in the way of her shift and it was irritating her. King slightly bows, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize what I was doing" The moment those words leave his mouth, I turn and start walking towards the forest that was calling me. Pullingtowards its green lushness. I know the perfect place for us to shift. Nyx agrees withbecause she nods with excitement. Rushing, I push myself to get there quickly. I dodge trees, branches and roots, anticipation drumming through every fiber of my body. I could literally feel just how charged the air was. Less than ten minutes, I get to where I want to be. It's my spot. My calming spot. The only place in the pack where I can fully let go. The one place I cto think. It isn't much honestly. Nothing grand or out of this world beautiful, but there was a pond. Stepping into the open space, I start removing my clothes. The need to shift was ridinghard. Pushingto get this over quickly. Within seconds, I had discarded my clothes and now stood naked in front of the pond. I could smell King and Raven, but they didn't matter at that moment. This twas betweenand Nyx. "Are you ready?" Nyx asks, her voice a bit distorted. "I don't think anyone can ever be truly ready for their first shift" I reply, pacing the small area. My bones feel like they've been filled with lead. Sweat covered every inch of my body and a kind of cramp beginning to take over. was "I want to tell you beforehand that our wolf form is going to be different from normal wolves" Nyx says, distractingfrom the cramps that were intensifying by the second. "How different?" She was just about to answer when, all at once, pain hitsin a way that bringsto my knees. A scream leaves my lips as my first bone begins to break. I thought I was ready, but I was not. When I shifted to what I decided to call 'my angel form, the pain wasn orm, the pain intense but not like this. I felt like I was on fire. It felt like I was burning alive, with tiny needles pricking my skin over and over again. It was painful, so fucking painful, but so was this. I thought shifting today couldn't be as bad as yesterday, but I was so fucking wrong. Everything we were taught in school about shifting doesn't really prepare you for the actual shift. I doubt anything can prepare you for it. I once broke my hand while swinging on a branch. Piper and I had the bright idea of being like boys who could easily climb trees and swing from branches.&didn't know the branch I decided on was weak as fuck. A few minutes into it, it broke, and I fell, breaking my hand in the process. The pain had been terrible, but it was nothing compared to how I felt now. This was almost a hundred times worse, and I am not exaggerating. Breathe in, then out, Sadie" Nyx comforting voice does nothing to soothe me. "It will be over a few minutes, just hold on" Easy for her to say I grit my teeth as another bout of pain hits me. I fall forward and use my hands to preventfrom face planting. I can't stop the scream that tears from my lips as if coming from the depths of my soul. I can't keep myself up any longer, so I collapse on the floor. I continue writhing in pain, praying that it with all be over soon. Why did the moon goddess have to make shifting painful? Why couldn't it be an effortless transition from one form to another? I think most werewolves would prefer that. I don't know how long I was on that ground, writhing in pain and tears running down my face when the pain suddenly stops. "Look down, Sadie" comes Nyx's angelic voice, penetrating the fog of pain and misery. I do as she says and instead of my hand, I see a paw. A gasp from behind makesturn, despite being sore all over. "Goddess!" King was staring atin shock as if he'd seen a ghost.