Chapter 7: S0. Tour of Modern Civilization - 3

“The world being made up of elements is just 『Common Sense』, isn’t it……?” This was the reaction of an Archwizard who had lived her entire life in a medieval fantasy world. “You know, that doesn’t make sense. If the smallest unit of all things isn’t an element….then what about Elemental Magic? What about Fireballs and Ice Spears? Why are some wizards good at Fire Magic but aren’t able to handle Earth Magic, even if their life depends on it?” My response to that was, of course, ‘I don’t know’. On Earth, magic was, after all, a concept that only existed in imagination. Unless I previously had a doctorate in physics, how could I, just a regular office worker, have gained insight into the fundamental principles of magic through the medium of modern science? I wasn’t able to before and that wasn’t going to change in the future either. The Tower Master, who looked as if she had just been told the world was actually made of chocolate, countered softly. “Moreover, if the world is different, the laws of physics could be different too. Even the Spirit Realm operates under completely different laws from our continent. Isn’t it possible our world could be different?” That was certainly a sharp point to make. ‘It exists in my universe.’1A quote by George Lucas. It is not famous anywhere else but in Korea, where it is an internet meme. Context is that George Lucas was asked why sound existed in space in Star Wars. After all, space doesn’t have air, so soundwaves can’t be transmitted. As such, laser beams and explosions shouldn’t sound like anything. To that “criticism”, he responded with this quote. Korean netizens made this a massive meme because they felt like Lucas was just saying ‘fuck it. imma do whatever i want’. Wasn’t that a famous quote? The common sense of Earth might not apply in an otherworld. In the first place, wasn’t it a world where magic existed? Moreover, it even seemed like God and the Devil existed where Priests and Devil Summoners directly received their power. So, couldn’t it be possible that unlike Earth, their land was flat or the universe was not immensely large, but rather the size of a small and precious planetary system? I determined that it was possible, thus I did not rush to conclusions. As such, I experimented. How far did Earth’s scientific common sense apply in this otherworld? “Almost all of them were correct.” “Really?!” “Of course, since I’m not an expert at…that kind of research, I only experimented with very simple things.” Those were famous experiments listed in science textbooks. Like using a stick’s shadow to determine if the planet was round. Or detecting cosmic background radiation. Or making crystals on a stick. Some experiments were tough due to the difficulty in sourcing materials, but the grants that came to the Magic Tower were invincible and unstoppable; basically, they were God. Excluding things that had magic such as mithril, scientific common sense took home the victory over and over again. I was even able to determine that the continent was a round planet. “So the continent wasn’t flat……!!” “Based on my calculations, it seemed to be a planet with a radius of about 7500 km, but I did it just for fun, so it’s not precise.” “To think that there isn’t a precipice and an infinite void at the end of the sea…….” I remembered hearing such stories while receiving bread from the local priest; it was back during the days after my reincarnation when I farmed potatoes with my parents in the countryside. It was about how the God of Darkness and the God of Light created humans and blah blah blah. In the middle of those stories, it was said that if you sail across the sea, you’ll fall into the voids because the earth was flat. The Tower Master, overwhelmed by her upended worldview, groaned while clutching her head. It seemed like it was distressing for her to have her common sense directly challenged. I felt a desire to pour out all my modern knowledge into that small brain and corrupt her with science, but I refrained. After all, I wasn’t a scientist, but an Illusion Wizard who loved TRPGs. Honestly, whether the Earth was flat or round wasn’t the important part. We needed to focus on a slightly different point. “Isn’t it still fun, even though it’s not confirmed whether it really is like that or I’m just mistaken? Nothing is certain, after all.” “…….Huh?” Let’s say there was an Illusion Magic that summoned butterflies. The Illusion Magic created by a child who had never seen a butterfly and an adult who had raised butterflies for decades had a big difference. Clearly, the adult would win. The power of the illusion increased based on how specific it was and the degree of belief in it. This was the case even when simply summoning an illusion of a single knight. An illusion of just a ‘Knight guarding the castle gate’ could not compete with a ‘Gatekeeper Knight who is troubled because he is currently courting the miller’s daughter, but a childhood friend from his hometown has recently moved next door to him.’. In short, details in the settings were important. “Couldn’t you use this for Illusion Magic?” “Ooooooh……” The more thoughts one had, the stronger the illusion became. It could be that the reason why I was able to pioneer uncharted magic as an Illusion Wizard was because these kinds of knowledge made a wide range of detailed settings possible. The whole world was subject matter. I could create TRPG material even from raindrops on a window. Even a knock from a neighbor could inspire genres ranging from thrillers to romance. It was true I wanted to feel pride in my modern knowledge, being like ‘Did you not know? This is obviously so-and-so—’. But more than that, I wanted to gift the Purple Magic Tower Master fun stories. “So instead of looking like your head is about to split from pain, think of it as gaining interesting material.” “B=But isn’t it a bit scary to think that the universe is so big? Doesn’t it make life feel utterly meaningless…..?” “Isn’t it actually more exciting since it means that humanity has so much left to explore? Now, now. Let’s move on to the biology corner. I have a lot I want to say, you see.” The filthiness of this damned, piece of shit medieval era was the biggest problem. Since they did not know the existence of germs, people rarely bathed and ate carelessly…… The medieval families would even mock me for bathing daily in the stream. But now, it was time for my counterattack. I was going to release the poison known as hygiene management to medieval fantasy. “This is a microscope. It’s a device that lets you see small things in a much larger size.” “…..And?” “This is Purple Magic Tower Master’s underwear. Do you perhaps use Clean Magic on it once every few days?” The Purple Magic Tower Master seemed to ponder whether to rip apart this disrespectful illusion along with this world. Still, seeing my audacity, she must have thought there was a reason for it. Though embarrassed, she answered with a face that seemed to question why she was even embarrassed in the first place. “…….W-Well, it’s about once a week.” I slapped my forehead at her response. Then, I set the underwear on the microscope slide and urged her to take a look at her own sin. She leaned in to look through the microscope and jumped back, like a cat who had abruptly discovered a cucumber. “B-Blech……Disgusting. What are these weirdly wriggling blobs of slime…..?” Ahhh, did you not know~? Those are…” “S-Speak properly.” The Tower Master summoned terrifying strength on her finger and I became humble. “They are microorganisms. Just like the word itself, it means they are tiny living beings.” “……Y-You’re not doing this to mess with me, right? These really do exist outside as well, right? Right?” “Yes. Symptoms like colds, itchy skin, runny noses, and fevers that aren’t curses are all because of germs. Basically, the bad guys among microorganisms.” “Germs……” “These little fellows thrive in dirty places. On unwashed skin, unwashed clothes, uncleaned labs…..” “⋯⋯⋯⋯!!” The Tower Master was appalled, brushing off her clothes as if they were infested with bugs. However, there was no way things that couldn’t even be seen with the naked eye would fall off with just that. “It seems you use Clean Magic when your clothes start to smell. But by then, they must be positively swarming. Swarming, I tell you.” “Don’t use that expression……!!” “Thi is why you should bathe daily. And why you should wash your hands frequently. It’s not that I’m overreacting, it’s that you all are just dirty-” “I get it, I said I get it! Enough!” The Purple Magic Tower Master looked genuinely disgusted. And she couldn’t stop fidgeting. It was just like how when someone became conscious of their breathing, they couldn’t stop focusing on it until they forgot. In that same sense, it seemed like the Tower Master couldn’t stop thinking about the tiny creatures crawling on her skin. I was certain. With this, the Magic Tower gained another member who valued cleanliness. “I-I wish I hadn’t known.” “If you hadn’t known, you would have been dirty.” “D-Don’t tell a lady she’s dirty!” “Shall we move on to see weapons of war?” I connected a computer to a cinema screen and showed a video. Guns. “……So people can use these without learning magic? If this happens, I think the ordinary people would fight each other quite often, though…..” “Doesn’t it feel threatening? Imagine if all the peasants in a territory started a war while armed with guns.” “I’m pretty sure one 『Metal Distortion』 from the Golden Magic Tower would turn them all into scrap metal, right…….?” It seemed that guns weren’t perceived as very threatening. As expected of someone who lived in a world where effort could turn a person into a walking tank. Then what about missiles? “If a wizard is stationed, they might be able to defend against it, but if they are actively mass-produced……” Nuclear weapons. “……Was your world only filled with, uh….crazy wizards who wanted to destroy everything?” “Mm…..” “Logically, a weapon that could turn everything to ashes if misused is just like, um….a Dark Wizard trying to resurrect an Evil God, right?” “I guess so?” “But then….since the neighboring country might also resurrect an Evil God, we should also be prepared to do the same……Is what happened, right?” “I guess……so?” “Was your world seriously just full of mad wizards wanting to destroy everything?” Upon careful reflection, I couldn’t deny it. Was humanity’s madness at a level that an otherworlder would ask if we were ‘all batshit crazy wizards’? “If that’s what comes out of scientific advancement, maybe it’s better for everyone to live in ignorance…..” The Tower Master muttered like someone who had seen a terrifying giant octopus. Before she could conjure up ideas like policies for keeping the populace ignorant, I guided her to the next course. “Finally, let’s go to where I used to live.” “Where you used to live?” “Yes. I think the last part will be about my past. Would you like to hear it?” The Tower Master nodded. I asked again, just in case. “If it sounds boring, we can skip it.” The Master bonked my head with a ladle summoned as an illusion. Because it seemed like she was saying ‘Don’t back out and just spill it’, I laughed in response. 1 A quote by George Lucas. It is not famous anywhere else but in Korea, where it is an internet meme. Context is that George Lucas was asked why sound existed in space in Star Wars. After all, space doesn’t have air, so soundwaves can’t be transmitted. As such, laser beams and explosions shouldn’t sound like anything. To that “criticism”, he responded with this quote. Korean netizens made this a massive meme because they felt like Lucas was just saying ‘fuck it. imma do whatever i want’.