Chapter 8

Grace blinked over and over. For the past four days, Joshua refused to visit and when she complained to the nurses on duty, their response were alike. They said that he probably would have travelled. But she had a gut feeling that they were wrong. It was clearly because of her harsh statement. She knew that because after she said it, he took her back into the hospital without saying a word and he even ignored her when she mentioned that his grip was harsh when he dropped her on her bed. She didn’t mean to say it that way but she wanted to stamp a limit between them. She was a patient, he was a doctor and that was all.

She was already falling in love with his petty performances and funny faces. The way he advised her on the right meals to take and the way he was interested in what she liked. Not even Tom, her so called boyfriend asked what she liked or wanted. Their relationship was obviously based on sex alone. Tom was her trainer and he often flirted with other women which annoyed her constantly.

Grace then shut her eyes and recollected the reason how she got into that dreadful accident. She wanted to surprise Tom with a visit to his house on his birthday. She wore her best lingerie under her skimpy dress and made her face up in the most seductive way but she was shocked when she looked through one of his apartment windows and noticed the scenario before her.

He was in an intimate position with another woman in his living room and it didn’t look like it was his first time at all. But what baffled her was that Tom allowed that woman to touch him everything. He never allowed Grace to touch him anytime they had sex. He told her it digusted him and apparently, he found her digusting as well. With a broken heart, Grace left his apartment. Her thoughts were disoriented and in the middle of all the crisis happening in her heart, she was hit by an incoming car.

Grace opened her eyes and sighed deeply, she knew she had to let go of him but she still felt attached to him emotionally. She tilted her head at looked at the time on the wall clock, it was afternoon. She banged her head against the pillow and muttered inaudible words. The door slightly creaked and she stopped talking to herself, she saw a shadow hovering around the door and she guessed the person was reluctant to enter. She fixed her gaze on the door and watched as the person entered slowly and turned out to be Joshua.

She cleared her throat and tried to keep a straight face but she was happy because he showed up. She examined his blank facial expression as he moved closer to her. Her heart heated faster and butterflies danced in her stomach. She felt him reach for her wrist, he took it in his hand and checked her pulse. He then opened her eyelids rudely and looked into them for a brief second before tearing his gaze away from her.

Disappointment crawled into Grace’s skin. Was he ignoring her? She watched as he stood rooted for some minutes without saying a word. She knew she deserved the silent treatment but he was breaking her heart slowly. She watched as he made to leave. She pondered within herself whether to talk or let him leave. She found her voice eventually.

“Joshua.” She called.

But he didn’t respond, his fingers were tightly curled around the door knob.

“Joshua!” She tried again, her voice a bit louder this time.

“It’s Dr Joshua.” He corrected slowly, he was irritated.

“You said that you preferred me calling you Joshua instead of Dr Joshua. Why the sudden change?” Grace asked, perplexed by his words.

“People change, Miss Waters,” he replied.

“Then why didn’t you check up on me? What if I needed your attention? You asked me to press the buzzer if I needed you but you never showed up. You only checked my vitals and you refused to talk or relate with me.” Grace stated as she tasted something salty in her mouth, whenever she was hurt, she had the tendency to cry.

“That’s not clearly in my job description. I was asked to make sure you get better, not chat with you about irrevelant things. There are so many patients in this hospital that I have to attend to and you are the least important of them all, Miss Waters.” Joshua glared at her with his hands buried inside his coat.

“I am less important?” Grace whispered, she never expected that from him. Because of what she said, he was being mean and insensitive.

“According to this hospital policy, I am only allowed to see a patient for ten minutes, then move on to another patient but now I have wasted twenty minutes here doing absolutely nothing, my income at the end of this month is going to be deducted, all thanks to you,” Joshua answered bitterly, as he joined his hands together to praise her for her ironic feat.

Grace wiped a tear under her eyelids and braced herself. She thought her mother was the worst person in the world but Joshua topped the chart already without a hitch.

“You are the most irritating, stupid, disgusting, irrational and unreasonable doctor I have ever met,” Grace said between gritted teeth. She felt aches in her heart and she twisted her hands into her dress and gripped them for support.

He didn’t react, his fingers were still curled around the knob.

“Was it because I said you weren’t my type?” Grace inquired, tilting her head. She wasn’t surprised that Joshua refused to make eye contact with her.

He still wasn’t shaken by her words.

“Asshole!” Grace yelled.

And that was enough to bend him.

Turning around on his heels, Joshua laughed like a maniac and replied icily, “There are many things I can tolerate but being called an asshole is completely out of it. If you want me to respect you, you have to earn it. I am only doing my job. What else do you want?”

“But we are friends, Joshua!” Grace yelled.

“No, we aren’t. Friends don’t call their friends assholes.” Joshua responded with a shake of his index finger.

“I said you weren’t my type because I have a boyfriend and I didn’t want to lead you on. I am sorry.” Grace explained, holding out her arms. She knew this was the only way to clear their misunderstanding.

Her heart beat felt steady when he folded his arms and looked at her with a confused expression. She knew that she was gradually making progress towards a positive result.

“You have a boyfriend?” he asked with an eyebrow raised.

“Yes.” She nodded.

“I don’t believe you.” Joshua remarked with a shrug.

“But I am dead serious. Why can’t you believe me?” Grace tried to persuade him.

“Because when I looked into your eyes, the first day I met you. You didn’t look like someone that belonged to anyone!” Joshua uttered, his tone leaving a wisp of honesty.

“Then maybe you should have looked closer, Dr Joshua. Maybe you don’t know your job so well.” Grace insisted. She knew he was right but she had to push him farther away from her.

“To be honest, you are the one that looks like an asshole and let’s be clear here, you aren’t my type either!” Joshua bellowed.

Grace bit her bottom lip and muttered, “That’s a lie, that’s a freaking lie.”

“Better believe it, asshole!” he snapped before walking towards the door. He turned around again at looked at Grace with disgust then he flung the door open and shut it with tremendous strength and anger.

Grace covered her face with her hands and sobbed quietly.

“It’s for the best. It’s for the best,” Grace mumbled repeatedly, trying to assure herself. She pushed him away and he also did the same. He did what she wanted but why was she hurt? Why was she feeling pain everywhere?

She felt like broken glass that was impossible to fix.

*********

Joshua grunted like as a pig as he strolled angrily towards his office. He reached for his office keys in his pocket and unlocked the door. He entered hastily flopped on his chair without removing his coat. He made a fist with his right hand and bashed it on the table.

“Asshole? She’s the asshole.” Joshua muttered. He knew he didn’t mean that but her words pierced him and sent his heart racing into obvilion.

“She’s not even that pretty.” Joshua sneered, he was trying to persuade himself that Grace wasn’t worth it.

He heard a dry knock on the door and yelled, “You can come inside!”

He thought it was a patient but was astonished to see Helen. He folded his hands under the table and glared at her.

“Hey buddy!” Helen chanted.

“I am really not in the mood, Helen.” Joshua stated sternly with a wave of his hand.

Helen leaned her elbows on the desk and replied, “What’s wrong Joshua? You can talk to me.”

“It’s a crazy patient, she’s really getting on my nerves and she even had the guts to call me an asshole.” Joshua confessed while rubbing his eyes with his fingers.

“Are you referring to that patient I saw you with around the hospital premises three days ago. What did you even call her name? Grass?” Helen asked while the corner of her mouth twitched.

“It’s Grace.” Joshua corrected, removing his stethoscope gently from his neck.

“I don’t really care what her name is. I had a feeling that she was bad news.” Helen reported.

“Really Helen? That’s the only thing you could say?” Joshua enquired. He expected her to give him some sort of advise.

“I think the best thing to do is that you stop being her doctor. You can’t treat a patient that disrespects you and calls you an asshole. You know your self worth, don’t let a stupid patient tell you otherwise.” Helen cooed, giving him a stunning smile.

“She’s not stupid, Helen.” Joshua corrected as he twirled around in his chair.

“Oh! Then she’s an idiot.” Helen shrugged and sat down at the edge of the table.

“She’s not an idiot either, Helen.” Joshua corrected, unknotting his tie.

“Then she’s probably a bird, you know birds don’t have the capacity to accumulate much information-“ Helen rambled.

“She’s not a bird, Helen.” Joshua laughed. In times like this, Helen seemed like a circus clown.

“Did I just make you laugh?” Helen asked as she played with her hair.

“No, you didn’t.” Joshua lied and covered his lips.

“Yes, I did. I brightened your day and I can do it for you life as well.” Helen cooed, raising her eye brows to emphasize her point.

“I think you are going to darken it, Dracula.” Joshua laughed aloud, he held his sides and continued laughing and Helen’s smug look made it worse.

“Your sense of humor is pathetic.” Helen joked as she rose up on her feet.

“Have a lovely day, Joshua,” Helen said, blowing him a invisible kiss.

“Thank you, Helen.” Joshua admitted with sheer honesty as Helen smiled at him before bolting the door shut.

This was the Helen he wanted and needed, not the provocative and slutty Helen. He knew she didn’t give him a tangible advice and he felt even more broken. A picture of Grace crossed his mind and he placed his head on the desk, inhaling the sharp smell of dust.

“Dammit!” he yelled, he didn’t know to do or think. Grace kept popping up in his head like an endless advertisement and he was scared of drowning in it.