Chapter 7

Iris

I STAYED at the watchtower when Colt left. I formed into a ball, crying my eyes out for as long as I could, hoping to ease away my pain. It was hard to recall the things I’d seen and experienced. I’d never expected I would survive, but I held on to the thought of my brother’s last words, and that gave me hope somehow.

I never had a close friend after the outbreak. My brother always reminded me not to trust anyone and never let my guard down because that could put me in danger or hurt me—then, he said that I should trust my instinct before he died.

The friendship I had with Lois was something special—I found a sister figure in her—she took care of me, treated like everyone around, then it hurt to think that it was about to end.

Before the sunrise, I passed by the grave of Colton—just at the back of Colt’s cabin. It was peaceful here—Colt must have gone to sleep, and that was a good thing.

After I placed the cucumber flower on his grave, I whispered, “Hi. You’re probably asking who am I, aren’t you? I’m Iris, by the way, and your brother told me so much about you that you’re a great brother to him. He gave me some of your shirts like what I am wearing now. I hope you don’t mind.” I looked down at my maroon shirt had a printed quote ‘Look up and you see the light.’

“I just wanna say thank you. Just look out for him where ever you are. Do you think you can do that for me, the real Colton?”

I was pretty shaken up about what happened. Colt just left me there. And here I thought we had something, and it speared my chest that it meant nothing to him.

I took a deep breath when tears filled my eyes. I wished I could tell Lois that I was leaving, but I didn't think I could leave when she stopped me.

When I reached the gate, Darick eyed me suspiciously. “Morning!”

“Morning.” He then noticed the backpack. “Going somewhere?”

“My stay is over. So, I’m heading south.” I tried to smile, but it was harder than I thought that I had to look down.

“Alone?”

“Yeah. Unless you wanna come with me.”

“Does anyone know about this? How come no one tells me?” The way he looked at me, he was not satisfied, except I couldn’t let him figure out that I was lying.

“Well, here I am now to tell you. You can go and ask Gael. I’ll watch the gate until you come back.”

He studied me once again. “Okay. Wait right here.”

The moment he was gone, I pulled the gate opened and bolted out as faster as I could toward the trees. I couldn’t stay right on the muddy road as someone could easily track me and follow my trail.

When the camp’s view faded, I slowed my pace. I could hardly catch my breath in exhaustion. Breathing heavily, I placed my hands on my knees, then I realized I didn’t have any plan, no place to go, and worse I was alone.

I looked around and let tears pricked my eyes.

God, I was so damn stupid!

I let a sad smile curve up my lips as I reminisced happy memories with my brother. The things I liked about camping and hunting with him were the forest, the fresh smell of earth, the light dancing on the glittering morning dew against the leaves, the butterflies and bees fluttering closed to the wildflowers, the sounds of the insects, and the moss and mushrooms growing on the dead logs.

I had fun, so much fun that my chest constricted with those beautiful memories, and there was no chance I could do it again with him. It felt like yesterday that I could still feel the drench of dew on my clothes and on my fingertips.

Right now, I could appreciate every tiny detail of the forest if it happened to be not in circumstances like this.

“Don’t move!”

A gasp escaped from my lips, and I instantly halted. My heartbeat accelerated, making me even harder to breathe.

Shit!

Surrendering, I raised my hands. “I won’t tell a soul, I promise. Just let me go, p-please? “ My tears fell, teeth tattering.

God, can’t he just let me go peacefully?

With weakened knees, I turned around slowly.

“Damn it, Iris! I told you. Not. A. Single. Move,” he commanded, gritting his teeth. His words almost vibrated into my bones—he was beyond pissed.

Damn it, Colton!

“I’m not gonna die with a hole at the back of my head.” A loud sob erupted from me.

“And you wanna die with booby trap instead?”

My world stopped.

Huh? Oh, shit!

He must be walking toward me because I could hear the crouching of twigs under his heavy footsteps.

“Colt, report. Did you find her?” Gael’s voice interrupted us over the walkie-talkie.

“Yes, she’s with me, but she’s gonna split in half by a booby trap you planted if she makes a single move right now. Under her feet.” His words were directed at me.

My breathing hitched. “Just go, Colton.”

“Huh! And you’re planning on leaving us without a word? That’s a very good idea, Iris.”

“I did my part last night, didn’t I? And you pointed a gun on me for the second time, and shot me.” I hiccuped, sobbed, and cried harder.

“I didn’t shoot you. I wouldn’t miss it if I wanted you dead.” He seemed found it hard to let out those words, but it didn’t change the fact that he fired a shot.

“So, by tormenting me was your best idea?”

Colt sighed deeply.

Seconds later, I found myself lifted by strong arms and held me against his hard chest.

“What are you doing?” My arm snaked around his thick neck as if nothing happened earlier, and my body and my stupid heart thought it was the right thing to do.

“Taking you out of the booby.” His breathing tickled the back of my ear, making my body aware of how close our faces with each other.

Heat radiated through me. I could feel his racing heartbeat against my arm. I could smell him; manly, sweaty, and earthy.

“You don’t have to come and save me, you know? That’s the purpose of exiling; sending to a death trap.”

My sarcasm made him huff.

“What?”

“You exiled yourself.”

“Put me down. I’ll follow the trail. I know now how to get back to the road.” It was a complete lie because I didn’t have a map and no idea where I was heading. Since I stayed with them, I didn’t get a chance to survey the area.

“You’re not going anywhere. Iris. Gael is waiting for you at the camp.” He put me down on my feet. “I’ll knock you out if you try to continue walking away from me again and lock you inside the cabin if you will try one more time escaping from the camp.”

“Are you holding me a prisoner now?”

“You’re not a prisoner, but it’s not safe for you to wander outside the camp.”

I faced him, meeting his gaze. “Have you not gotten the memo? I’m trying to walk away, duh! You told me last night, you have booby traps at the back of the camp and not on this area.”

He smiled. Colt smiles. And damn if it wasn’t quite a sight—like a sunrise in the morning. His full red lips spread wide. His unbelievably perfect white teeth were blinding. Aw!

“You’re smiling,” I said oddly in disbelief. “You are actually smiling. After Colton almost split me in half with a booby trap, he is now smiling at me. Wow!”

He stilled and blinked to my sarcasm. His smile faded, and I would lie if I didn’t miss it right away. “Glad you paid attention to what I said last night.”

“But you lied!” I glared.

“You’re fast learner, twig, and I’m impressed.”

“Colt, come in.” It was Gael.

“Yeah.”

“Head back home right now.” What’s wrong with him? If he ordered as if we were at war.

“Copy.” He groaned affirmatively after he pulled the walkie-talkie away from his face. “Let’s go back.”

“Not coming. After what you did to me, do you think I’m still willing to come with you? Touché!”

“Don’t force me to hurt you.”

“You already did!” I stomped past him.

“Can you just stop for a moment.” He held my wrist. His touch zinged through me, making a fluttery feeling settled in my stupid stomach.

I jerked my hand off of him. “Don’t touch me.”

“You didn’t mind earlier.”

“How couldn’t I even remember anything when I was on the brink of death?” I sprinted, jumping over fallen tree trunks.

“You’re heading the wrong direction!” He yelled behind me.

“Who cares? That’s the plan.”

“Damn it, Iris. You’re gonna hurt yourself.”

“Again! Who cares?”

“I do!”

And that stopped me. Silence echoed around us. I couldn’t exactly say that I was happy or thrilled, but something deep inside me wanted to believe in those two words he said.

I turned around. “How in the hell caring someone by forcing me to talk about the things I don’t wanna bring back those horrible memories? Do you know how odd you sound right now? And you tell me you care? You treated me pleasantly these past few days, you brought me something I badly needed, and you gave me your brother’s shirts, then you pointed a gun at me and threatened me if I wouldn’t talk. Is that how you show you care? That’s outrageous!”

“I’m sorry.” I almost didn’t catch it.

“Oh, save your sorry for your ass!”I sprinted away and decided to go back to the camp.

I could sense Colt was following me, but he had not said a word anymore. The camp came to view. Gael and Frost were standing outside the gate, waiting for us.

When I couldn’t take the silence, I stopped and faced Colt before Gael and Frost could hear something I needed to say.

Colt’s jaw was locked hard, holding his anger.

“Why?”

He met my gaze, eyes filled with guilt. “I was just following an order.”

My eyes grew big. “What order?”

“We all are,” he confirmed. He stuffed his hands into his pockets as I watched him not meeting my gaze anymore.

“That’s bullshit, Colton. You’re kidding, aren’t you?” I scoffed.

My shoulders drooped when he shook his head.

God, I’m so stupid!

I trusted them. I trusted Colt. I shouldn’t have let my guard down. My brother was right because right now I was hurting.

“We suspected everyone we came across. You know it’s hard to trust anyone you’ve just met, Iris. You have to understand Gael. We had history back then, and you can’t blame us for being cautious.”

I propped my hands on my waist, feeling the pain inside my chest. I blew a breath and looked up to hold the tears blurring my eyes again. I couldn’t blame them, but it hurt so much when I thought what they did to me was out of their kindness.

“So, what you all showed to me were but full of shit? Because your order was to play the role of hosts and hostesses with me?”

Colt shook his head. “No. It’s not like that.”

“Then what it is?”

“Iris, please, let’s talk inside. It’s not safe to stay here longer.”

“Fuck the not safe here! I’m not coming with you. You’re all fake people, especially you, Colton. For God’s sake, I trusted you!”

I watched his throat bobbed up and down as he looked at me in disbelief.

“Just hear Gael out first before you decide. Please?” His voice was unbelievably low.

I closed my eyes for a brief moment, deciding if I should listen to Gael or not, but knowing I had nowhere to go and I didn’t have a choice, I had to give it a try. I literally knocked on their door, and they opened for me and gave me a place to stay.

On the other hand, they were just cautious like everyone. I shouldn’t blame them because I was an alien who just popped up and I could have taken something with me.

“Okay.” I shrugged.

We followed Gael to his office and locked the door behind him. “Take a seat, Iris. I know you’re exhausted from last night.”

“I’m good, thank you.”

“Colt might have crossed the line,” Gael said.

“I just wanna say I’m sorry if you have to order around to watch over me. That must be difficult for them especially the nice part. And I’m sorry also for not spilling my gut immediately. Just like what Colton said, it’s hard to trust anyone you’ve just met, right?” I stole a glance at Colt, and he dropped his gaze down. “How could I tell what happened when it was even hard to think about it? It won’t just open the wound for me, it bleeds me out just to think how my brother died because he wanted to save me.” My tears rolled down and kept rolling that I could hardly see them. “All of us believe we always have choices, well, shit me, I didn’t find any that night other than to run away after I watched him die, and the worse part was, I couldn’t even hug him or at least give him a proper burial that he deserved. He was my hero, Gael. So, forgive me, if it took all my strength for me to tell a tale about the girl who ran away.”

“I’m not gonna apologize for giving that order because I believe that was the right call, but I’m truly sorry about your brother, Iris.” Gael was sincere, and I knew no matter how it hurt me, he did the right thing every leader should do to his group—protecting his people.

His uneven and limply walk caught my gaze. Gael had a prosthetic leg, and I didn’t notice it before.

“You’re an amputee?”

“Left. Gunshots with Colt’s brother, but he took most of the bullets. So he didn’t make it, and here I am.” He took a deep breath, pain plastered on his face.

“I’m sorry.” I felt bad. Next time, I should have just kept the thought to myself.