Chapter 10

Grace examined Tom with tear stricken eyes and spat, “How could you pretend to love me for four years? I loved you, Tom. How could you be so heartless?”


“I had to pretend because if I rejected you, you would have given up on your childish dream. You know how sensitive you are. “ Tom muttered, tearing his gaze away from her face.


“Why are you justifying what you did?” Grace whispered. She couldn’t believe it. Tom never loved her.


“You know, that day you asked to be your boyfriend, it was the most confusing day of my life. You were so bold and confident. You looked at me with those pretty eyes and I just melted into them. I just had to say yes. To be honest, you and I weren’t really going to work out. You liked me because you were lonely and you desired attention.”


What?” Grace’s mouth gaped open.


“Yes, you craved attention and I gave it to you. You spoke constantly about your dream of being an Olympic champion even when you knew it was impossible.” Tom confessed, taking few steps backwards.



“What are you saying?” Grace cried.



“I trained you but you weren’t the best. You were too slow and you didn’t really have the motivation to run. You were always complaining after working out on the treadmill. I couldn’t speak or scold you because you were my girlfriend. I tried so many times to explain that you were only living in a dream. I tried to wake you up and show you reality but you were so stubborn and determined. You wanted to become an althete to escape from your mother. It was never your passion, Grace.” Tom admitted with a shaky voice.



Everything in Grace’s head exploded into fireworks. Her heart raced faster and her hands trembled as if electrocuted. Was Tom trying to bring her down to her lowest point or was he really saying the truth?



“Fuck you, Tom. Fuck you!” Grace yelled and waterworks began to fall down her cheeks.



“You can swear at me all you want but you and I both know that you were never meant to be an althete.” Tom laughed.



“What’s so funny about what I said?” Grace roared.



“It’s actually twisted. You are the one who’s fucked. You are the one who’s lying on an hospital bed. You’re the one who’s never going to walk. So fuck you, Grace.” Tom screamed while pointing his middle finger at her.



“Let’s break up, Tom. Let’s break up.” Grace barked at him.



“You don’t have to ask. We aren’t a couple anymore.” Tom shrugged.



“I hate you, I hate so much.” Grace wept, she didn’t know why the tears kept pouring down and her vision was foggy.



“I know you still love me, you still want me, don’t you?” Tom mocked.



“You are sick, Tom. You are sick in the head.” Grace rebuffed.



“I hope you get better, Grace. I am so damn honored to be your first ex.” Tom laughed aloud.



Grace squeezed her lips together and held back a scream. She looked at Tom with sheer disgust and she loathed him.



“Get out!” Grace yelled frantically.



“Let me give you a goodbye kiss, so the pain you feel in your heart can grow bigger.” Tom sassed and then took quick strides towards Grace.



Panic rose from the pit of her stomach and she yelled, “Don’t you dare do it.”



“Do what?” he replied and before Grace could react, he had planted a wet sloppy kiss on her lips.



“Goodbye, Grace.” Tom chanted to a shocked Grace and walked towards the door.



“I hope that you rot in hell, you sick bastard.” Grace bellowed, her face hardened just like her heart.



“Whatever, Have a good life.” Tom replied coldly before shutting the door.



Grace grabbed the pillow under her head with her shaking hand and thrusted it into her face. She sobbed aloud and tortured the innocent pillow with her tears. She still couldn’t believe it. Tom had never spoken to her in that way. He was ruthlessly honest and she wished he lied.



She thought that he was the one who was going to get hurt but now she was the only one hurting. Brick by brick, her walls came tumbling down. As much as she tried to hold it in, the pain came out like an uproar from her throat in the form of a silent scream. The beads of water started falling down one after another, without a sign of stopping. She hit the pillow with her forehead and tried to scream. The world turned into a blur, and so did all the sounds. The taste. The smell. Everything was gone.



A hand grazed her knuckles slightly, adrenaline shot up in her veins and she shouted, “ Get the hell out of there!”



With the pillow still stuck on her face, she felt the bed sink and knew someone was on the bed, sitting so dangerously close to her.



“Why can’t you just let me be?” Grace yelled again.


“Grace?”


Grace instantly recognized that voice and slowly removed the pillow from her face. Embarrassment written all over her face when her eyes met Joshua’s. She scanned his facial expression, it was like he was waiting for her to react or speak. She wanted to drive him away from her like she did the previous day but she knew she needed him now.


Without warning or caution, Grace shifted her neck and placed her head on his chest. She felt a jolt in his body movement and knew he was startled by what she did.

“Please, don’t go away. Just stay and hold me.” Grace croaked out.

She immediately felt strong arms wrap around her back and she leaned her head farther into his chest. His cologne oozed of a fruity scent.

“What happened?” Joshua asked as he started patting her back gently.


“M–My boyfriend broke…I mean I broke up with him. He said I wasn’t good enough as an althete, he said I pursued a childish dream. He deceived me.” Grace hastily replied as more tears gushed out of her eyes.


“Then stop crying, does he really deserve those tears?” Joshua demanded with an hint of jealousy.



“No, but–“



“There are no buts, you don’t deserve to cry for a man who broke your heart. That man is foolish and idiotic. He’s also a birdbrain who can’t think. Why would anyone want to break such a beautiful soul?” Joshua whispered and resumed patting her back.



“You think I have a beautiful soul?” Grace tried to lighten up, a smile etching on her face.



“I meant to say ugly. I slipped. You have such a ugly soul.” Joshua joked light-heartedly.


Grace then placed her hands in front of his chest that was covered with a suit and began hitting it so much vigour. “Can’t you just compliment me? I still feel so much pain in my heart.”



“Now I am also feeling pain since you are hitting my chest. Why do you have strong knuckles?” Joshua retorted dramatically.



“I can’t stop thinking about him. I can still hear those words he said, replaying into my head. Why can’t I stop thinking about him?” Grace quaked with worry.



“You need a new distraction to forget him.” Joshua replied bluntly.



“What?” Grace was elated.



“Me.” Joshua answered with a chuckle.



Grace lifted her head from his chest and shot a deadly glare at him.



“What?” Joshua asked with a confused look.



“Can’t you be serious for once? Is everything a joke to you?” Grace yelled at him.



“I wasn’t joking. I can be a good distraction.” Joshua replied her.



“How?” Grace spoke.



“Why am I not your type, Grace?” Joshua asked out of the blues.



Grace felt goosebumps all over her body. She felt it was too early to confess, she just broke up with Tom. She was happy and nervous about his question. Why now? Why was he so persistent on that question.



With a straight face, Grace replied, “ Then why am I not your type?”



“You are my type of woman. I lied because you said I wasn’t your type and I felt hurt about it. If you weren’t my type, would I be here?” Joshua raised an eyebrow.



“Oh!” was all Grace could say.



“Then tell me, why am I not your type?” he persisted.



Grace swallowed a mold of saliva and began rubbing her left palm against the other.



“I’ll tell you the reason tommorow.” Grace tore her gaze away from his piercing look.



“I am not free tommorow, I’ll be free on Friday. I am going to be in the operating room for a long while.” Joshua replied hurriedly.



“Then I’ll wait till then.” Grace spoke bluntly.



“Are you blowing me off?” Joshua tilted his head.



“No, why would I do that? Don’t you have somewhere else to go?” Grace rubbed her neck.



“Now you are blowing me off.” Joshua laughed aloud.



“Please leave, I am feeling uncomfortable.” Grace confessed.



Joshua winked before replying, “My handsome features can make a grandma uncomfortable.”



“Shoo!” Grace flicked her fingers at him.


“Alright!” Joshua admitted defeat and rose up sharply from the bed. The bed made a plop sound and returned back to it’s normal form. Grace felt loneliness creeping in as she watched him walk over to the door.



“Thank you, Namjachingu!” Grace yelled with a giggle.



Joshua turned around and asked frantically,“ What type of language is that? What’s the meaning?”



“Ask Google.” Grace answered with a wink.



“I take it back, you don’t have a ugly soul. You have a crazy soul.” Joshua admitted and began laughing.



Grace bent her head and tucked in a strand of hair that kept straying and caught Joshua smiling at her. His smile was as infectious as a virus and as they gazed at each other, his smile grew wider and deeper.



“Why are you smiling at me? You look weird. “ Grace jeered.



“Are you a camera?” Joshua began with a grin.



“No!” Grace almost yelled.



“But why are you asking that?” Grace continued, lifting an eyebrow.



“Because everytime I look at you, I just want to smile forever.” Joshua replied smoothly.



It felt like time stopped. Grace felt her head spin. Why did he have to so direct and romantic? She felt her heart race faster and she placed a trembling palm on her chest, trying to steady her breathing.



“T–Thank you.” Grace stuttered.



She watched him again as he walked towards the door. She was about to turn her head towards the window when she heard him speak.



“Maybe I’m too late to be your first man but I am preparing to be your last.” Joshua beamed at her.



“Enough with the cheesy words. Shoo.” Grace held her flushing cheeks with her hands.



“Dream of me when you sleep, Grace.” Joshua spoke before walking out of the door.



Grace slowly placed her back on the bed and inhaled sharply when her head hit the fluffy pillow. She then began laughing quietly, then it transformed into a bigger and brighter laugh. She recollected all the cheesy and romantic words he said and she danced within herself.



“He likes me. He likes me. He freaking likes me.” Grace chanted repeatedly to herself like a child.



Grace then realized something crucial. She lost Tom, someone she had loved for the past four years but now she was ready to give Joshua a chance, not because she was lonely or boyfriend deprived, But because she felt that he deserved a chance to prove how far he was willing to like or love her eventually.


*********



As soon as Joshua got home, he flopped on the couch without removing his coat and reached out for his phone and typed in the strange word that Grace said.



“Namjachingu.” He typed it on Google and vibrated his phone, nervous about the incoming result.



When the results came spilling out, Joshua scrolled back and forth but the translation of that word only had one meaning.





Boyfriend.


Joshua bit his bottom lip and tried to conceal a smile but he ended up grinning. He was surprised and shocked. He expected the translation to be devil or handsome fool but he was glad that she called him boyfriend.



He positioned his head on the head rest of the couch and placed his arm above his head and pondered deeply. He casted a glance at the portrait on the wall and heaved deeply.



“Do you want me to move on, Sally?” he muttered to himself.


Still staring intently at the portrait, he spoke again with tears breaming in his eyes, “I am sorry, but I have to move on. Life goes on and I have to move on. That’s the only way I can stay happy. Tears ran down his cheeks and he tried to wipe them with the back of his hand but they kept running down his cheeks without halting. He looked at the wallpaper on his lock screen. It was a picture of him, Sally and his daughter. It was overdue for a change and he already knew the person who would fill in for it in his heart.


Grace.

His Grace.