CHAPTER 7: TAME BLAME

"Are you sure you're alright?" Hope tapped her shoulders as they sat on one of the benches of the mini-forest.

"I will be lying if I say I am." She replied, dryly. Hope sat in front of her as she offered her a stick of sugar-coated bananas and a small box of chocolate drink as she grinned at her.

Even if she looked weary, she's thankful to Hope for defending her. Some of her classmates told her a while ago how Hope said things that boost her moral and dignity.

She accepted it and took a bite. Carmella also tried sticking in the plastic straw but it's not getting inside. Hope got it from her hand as she did it for her. She's secretly amazed how Hope did it when her eyes focused on her facial reaction as she faced her.

"It's just a presentation." She looked at Hope as she said those words. She looked unharmed to what she said that meant everything to her, on the other hand. She's enjoying the snack that Carmella introduced to her. She's also sipping her favorite chocolate drink in a loud slurp. Even so, she still looked stunning even if she's being silly sometimes.

"Well, for others, they'll just think that it's just a 'presentation' but for someone, it's their only chance to prove themselves." Carmella explained which made Hope frown a bit. She also took a bite from her snack because it somehow cooled down.

"What do you mean?"

"Some people considered that presentation to be a life-and-death situation."

"That might not be the case..." Hope looked at her with a calm reaction. She even looked at her as if she's making it easy for her to accept their defeat.

"Well, for you it's not. For me, it is always the case. Sometimes, I can't just easily get away with it."

"That is too unfair. Sorry for saying these things to you."

"It's okay, don't worry. I will be honest with you right now. I always felt as if I had to please the world to have my own validation."

"If you always think about that, you will not have a happy and satisfied life. Can't you just let it go, Carmella?" Hope said in a gentle way as she held her hand to comfort her.

"Nope. It's a part of me. I tried letting go of it but the more I do, I am just feeling miserable." She said as she rested her head sidewards on top of her folded arms on the concrete table they are now. She felt down until now.

"I think I am not in the situation to tell these things to you. I am so sorry for being hasty."

"Thanks. I think those are the words that I want to hear for now."

"I can't blame you for feeling it. I hope I can do something to ease what you feel right now." Hope sighed as she looked at Carmella.

"Please remember that not everyone is thinking the same way, especially in dealing with different kinds of situations."

"I'm sorry once again. I hope I can do something for you. I'd gladly do it, Carmella. Please don't be shy."

'I want you to chill and not give your 100% best in class. Can you do it? Give me the top spot at the end of the school year and the years to come while you're still here in school...' But these words, she just kept it to herself. She looked at Hope and when she noticed that she's looking at her, she looked the other direction.

She does not blame Hope for thinking the presentation lightly. Anyway, they are two different situations that she can't simply compare hers to Hope. The important thing is, she knew her views about many things this time.

How could she explain that she badly needed the top spot every year? She thinks that Hope is very lucky to have her father. While her? She doesn't even know what her mother thinks of her as her own daughter. She's more concerned with other things more than her feelings. That's why Carmella is afraid of not receiving a high score in her exams. She's worried about the outcome if she doesn't try harder. She's thinking that if she'll not be the top student every year, she'll only be abandoned.

Looking at Hope who looks really enthusiastic and kind, she doesn't think she could say it right in front of her face. Carmella felt like she's torn between her ambition and friendship that's both important to her. She admits to herself, she already loved Hope like a sister because she never had to experience having a sibling of her own.

"Carmella, are you still listening to me?" Hope distracted her thoughts as she looked at the people that surround her.

"Y-Yes. What were you saying?"

Hope giggled as she pinched her cheek. She smiled as she gently massaged her cheek that became red because of what she did to her just now. Carmella could notice how she simply deals with the situation.

"I just want to tell you that everything will turn out fine. Don't worry too much about it."

"Sorry, it's in my nature that I can't help it."

"You know what? You're silly. I said, let's go back to the library because we have to review for our quiz. We still have an hour left."

"Yeah, I think that will be a very good idea more than being an overthinker."

"That's what I am talking about." Hope nodded as she tapped her shoulders.

"Good thing our Math teacher is absent today. We can still go to the library." She replied to her as they started walking on the hallways going to the library.

"Yup, so better finish your snack because we'll be busier this time around."

She nodded. On the other hand, if this is the positivity and enthusiasm that her friend is showing her, then it will be too difficult to decide on every matter. She's now wondering if Hope also felt this way, or it is just her and her talent when it comes to overthinking?

As they went inside the library, Hope even held her hand and smiled. It made her heartbeat faster than usual. How dare she give her mixed emotions when she only wants to hate her? Can she really do it to Hope?

They sat down quietly and Hope started to read books about literature. I noticed she picked five different books about our subject. She even picked a book for Senior high school students. She caught Carmella glancing at what she did and she smiled sweetly right away.

"Sorry, I guess you also have to know that I could be a book hog at times."

"Yeah, the truth is, I guess you're a "bookhog" most of the time. Someone could notice right away you're unbelievable." Carmella shook her head as she turned her eyes to the two books Carmella picked. Upon hearing it, Hope teased her more by grabbing three more hard-bounds as she grinned.

"Wow...can you read all of these?"

"I am reading a few pages in each book. That's how I study sometimes."

"That's really nice. I guess we have our own way of studying habits." Carmella replied with a smile.

The two girls stayed there for one straight hour. They enjoyed reading their books that they almost forgot the next class, which is also their 'so-called' quiz class. When Carmella held her pen, she felt like her knees started to tremble because of nervousness.

"Okay, class. Do your best." Their Literature teacher reminded them as he passed the test questionnaires to their classmates seated in front. They got their papers and passed it backwards. As soon as Carmella got her paper, she read the directions as quickly as possible. Due to the lack of concentration, she was caught by the time constraint. She answered the test in the fastest way possible.

"Times up!" The teacher counted up to five until all the papers were being forwarded on his table. He agreed that everyone will have to check the papers of their seatmates. Carmella swallowed as she glanced at Hope who was looking very confident at this moment.

The exam took around thirty minutes and less than five minutes to check, minus if a student becomes noisy in dealing with the test papers.

Carmella knew their literature teacher, he would really announce everyone's score until the one who got the lowest. He said that it's a form of motivation for the students to study and do more in class. She swallowed hard as she looked at him. She began to get curious because their Literature teacher didn't even glance at her direction.

"Only one got the perfect score." Everyone murmured among themselves.

"What's new? Of course it is Carmella. Who else can defeat her?"

"Yeah. She will always do everything to get a perfect score."

"She'll not do everything because she can't even cheat during the exams. She's just smart to get perfect scores."

"She's addicted to ace every exam. What's new?"

She looked around and she could hear the majority of her classmates talk about her. She can't help smiling because they always put their confidence on her, and pressure at the same time.

"It is no other than Glitz, Elise Hope. Please stand up to be recognized more my dear." Everyone from the class gasped aloud. They seem to not believe everything they've heard from their teacher. It created a silent buzz among others. They looked at each other and started arguing among themselves.

"Gosh, that was so unexpected."

"Wow. That's a bomb."

"Seriously? Can someone tell me our teacher announced a name wrong? I can't believe it! Gosh!"

"Yeah, and I guess Hope will be the top student for this year."

"How can you be so sure of that? It is just the start of something more interesting."

These are only some of the words that she heard from the mouths of her classmates who praised her a while ago. She frowned about the idea. Traitors. Now, she realized that they could easily be swayed.

Carmella glanced at her. She looked worried again as she met her gaze, too. She can obviously see that Hope is just forcing herself to smile because their other classmates are cheering to her right now. Hope sat back on her seat without turning her gaze away from Carmella who looked miserable, right now.

Carmella was down with two points from Hope's score while others were okay with their average scores. It turned out that only the both of them got the highest score.

"I just feel that she can be the top one. Have you seen even the way she managed the skit, right?" Her close friend continued as they talked to their seatmates behind her. Carmella felt the happiness of her friend as she expressed her opinions about Hope. They saw her frowning but they never cared for her. She noticed that Hope got all of her classmates' sympathy.

"Yes, but of course. We can never be so sure of what's gonna happen in the future. Don't celebrate too early yet.

"Well you got the point? Do not tell unrealistic future events that's within our reach."

"Ok. I will not, but I will always choose Hope's group, rather than Carmella's."

"Yeah, if there would be next time, I will choose Elise Hope and not Carmella."

She turned her head at her back. When her two classmates realized that she heard them talking about her, they stopped talking. She rolled her eyes at them which made them look at the other direction. Some of them even left in front of her as they talked more about Hope.

It is really obvious that not everyone liked her without any reason at all. She can't blame them though. She's too busy studying that she can't hang out with her friends from her primary school. She's not the type that would hang out to them easily because she never knew how to reach out. She's not even sure of how to approach them. Her classmates would easily assume that she's weird and selfish, only thinks about herself but that's not the case.

She felt really bad right now for being so careless. Is there someone more unfortunate than her today?