Chapter 4

"James and I broke up."

Max just looks at me, his expression calm. Is he okay? "Max, say something, you're freaking me out," I confess.

He doesn't say anything for too long. "Wait. Let me get this straight. You were so scared to tell me that you and James broke up?"

I nod. He's taking this well, too well. Where's the Hulk transformation I was preparing for?

His eyes lock onto mine, searching through them, looking for any signs that I was joking, when my face remains serious he looks away, his gaze fixating on a tree behind me.

His calmness is unnerving. If Mason took it badly Max should be acting like Godzilla. I look at my nails, chipping at my dark blue nail polish, trying to distract myself while waiting for his response, not wanting to meet his eyes.

After a few minutes of silence, Max finally speaks. "Ari, look at me." When I don't he speaks again, this time with more force. "Aurora Jasmine Kelly look at me."

I grimace. He used the full name card, he must be serious so, reluctantly, I look up to meet his intense gaze.

His eyes are no longer impassive, they hold a variety of emotions, all of which I can't decipher. He takes in a deep breath, visibly calming himself.

"Ma-" I begin but he me cuts off with a loud scream. He finally cracked. I knew his calm demeanour was just a façade.

His next few actions are a blur. After smashing his fist into my poor oak tree, denting it, he looks up to the sky, screaming so loud that I have to cover my ears to protect them but I still wince. Soon he is grabbing onto my shoulders, seething, trying to hold himself back. "Max, calm down, breathe."

He's visibly shaking, gripping onto my shoulders like his life depends on it before he rips himself away and throws a potted plant into my garden shed, hard. Fuck, that was one of the flowers I've been growing, months of hard work down the drain.

He looks at me his eyes full of rage. "How the fuck do you expect me to calm down? I feel like he used you Ari and he will pay for that, I promise you."

This is what I was afraid of, Max injuring James. Sure I'm upset — to be honest, upset doesn't even begin to cover it — but that doesn't mean I want James to be hurt. I detest violence, always have, the thought of people fighting makes me sick to my stomach, even more so if it's because of me. I'd rather move on and forgive. I won't ever forget, I've never been good at that part, but I can forgive. Revenge and violence just aren't answers in my book and they never will be.

"Max," I say sternly, "Don't hurt him. I don't want you to."

"Ari don't be ridiculous, he deserves it. HE USED YOU FOR FUCKS SAKE!"

Did he use me? It's a possibility but I don't think so. He wouldn't have wasted two years if all he wanted to do was sleep with me, he could have easily found someone who would do that after just one day. Instead, he was patient and understanding and waited until I was ready and wanted to, that doesn't sound like I was used to me. He cared about me, I know he did. He might not anymore but I'm sure he did at one point, I felt it; I doubt anyone's acting skills are that good.

"Max it doesn't matter whether he did or not. We're over and that's that," the words are painful to vocalise but being blunt is the only way to get through to Max sometimes. "There's no need to drag this out for any longer, I just want to look past this and I don't want J-," I stop myself from saying his name when I see Max's jaw clench and fists tighten "-him injured in the process, please."

Again Max searches my eyes and begrudgingly sighs. "If that's what you want I won't hurt him but remember just say the world and he'll be in a hospital... but for now, he's safe. The things I do for you Ari," he mutters the last part to himself but I still hear it.

"Aww Maxi you're the best," I coo, pulling him into a hug.

"Don't call me Maxi," he groans but I can see a faint blush on his cheeks.

"Come on," I grab his hand, "Let's go back inside so Ava and Mason don't think you've killed me."

He just rolls his eyes but follows me nonetheless.

Soon after the boys find out about the whole fiasco and I've filled them in on everything they leave. Now it's just Ava and I and to be honest I'm glad. She knows just what to do when I'm feeling down and right now I need her more than ever.

I'm not going to cry again. I promised myself that because I'm not weak but the mere thought of him makes my heart pang and over the course of the night the tears threatened to escape more than once. I held them back though, I've had enough of crying; it doesn't do anything to soothe the pain so I d really understand the point in forgoing with it. The phrase Ava said earlier rang throughout my mind 'he's not worth it' but I can't help but disagree with her. I don't tell her this though even though she mentioned that phrase countless times throughout the night.

Crying is a weird thing for me. I've never been in that many situations where I've felt the need to. Sure my life hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows but it hasn't been bad either. I've had a wonderful upbringing and so many reasons to be grateful so sadness wasn't a common thing for me.

I've always been the positive one but right now I doubt I'll be able to keep that up.

With the way I'm feeling, I think positivity will be hard to come by.

~*~*~

My night was great. Ava was surprisingly good at helping me heal, especially considering she's never had to do this before.

We ate Ben and Jerry's ice cream to my heart's content; listened to countless songs about moving on; watched even more Disney (because Disney is downright amazing and always cheers me up) and Ava had me delete all my pictures of him and rid him from my social media accounts. I don't have the heart to block him on anything — I know, pathetic but don't judge me — but he is no longer anywhere on any social media platform I have.

She even brought a dartboard with her today (a little extra, I know) and stuck a picture of his face on it. Even though I hate violence it was pretty fun, not going to lie.

All in all, it was a great evening even with school looming in the morning.

Speaking of school, annoyingly, I've already had several people ask me about if we actually broke up and why but I chose to ignore it all. What happens in my life shouldn't concern the whole school, I mean it's not like my life is some movie or book for everyone to view at their own leisure.

~*~*~

Good moments can't last forever and before I knew it it was morning. Ava and I had both fallen asleep on the couches last night so I didn't have the best sleep in the world.

Ignoring the back pain that was inevitable from my awkward sleeping position, I get up to the smell of bacon and eggs.

As I walk into the kitchen I see Ava, Hugo and Alice all already pigging out while my mum is just drinking some coffee. "Morning sweetie, how did you sleep?"

Thankfully she knows not to ask about James, I'm so fed up of the topic and just want to forget it for now. "Terrible. Remind me to never sleep on the sofa again."

She just chuckles as I sit down and start wolfing down my breakfast. I love food like most people so excuse me for enjoying it.

"I don't get it," Ava says. "You eat so much yet you're so skinny."

I shrug. "High metabolism."

Hugo and Alice snort. "Even a high metabolism can't burn off the amount of junk you stuff your face with," my little brother says.

I narrow my eyes at him but he just laughs. Hugo, Alice and I are actually quite close, them being fifteen and I seventeen, we just like to take the mick out of each other a lot — it's part of our sibling bond. We tell one another almost everything and have helped each other through so much. Honestly, I don't know what I'd do without them, though I'd never tell them that.

"Plus don't forget I run," I add after Hugo's remark. That's another thing I picked up a few years ago. As well as painting, running is a great way to clear your mind, I have a feeling I'll be doing a lot more if that now, I mean it's healthy too, so it's a win win.

After I finish eating at a monstrous pace, I go upstairs to have a shower and get ready.

I rummage through my closet and decide on a pair of black high waisted skinny jeans, a t-shirt and a maroon jumper.

"Ari, can I borrow some clothes?" Ava asks as I dry my hair and let it fall in its natural wavy state over my shoulders.

"Sure, knock yourself out," I reply. As she's choosing an outfit, I start to apply my makeup, as usual, it's minimal.

Once we're both ready, we head downstairs and I give my mum a hug before we leave. "Have a good day sweetie," she calls as I'm closing the door. Like that's ever going to happen; last time she said that James broke up with me.

I ignore the sad feeling that's starting to appear at the thought of him and focus on the day ahead. It's just school, surely it can't be that bad. Right?