CHAPTER 2

I never knew I was capable of acting so coldly towards a person; I didn’t even know I had it in me. Mom always taught us to be nice and as a result it was never hard for me to do just that, and since people liked me easily it wasn’t that hard until now. I felt horrible for treating her the way I did, but there was no turning back now.

But I needed to know what happened to Veronica, so instead of going to my next class, I went to my locker to get my stuff and go straight to her house. All these questions without answers were killing me, that’s why I needed to go there and find out.

And during that time everyone that was passing by was giving me this condemning glare; which made me think at the back of my head that something must’ve happened to Veronica that’s why. Before I could get the idea to sink in, my suspicions were proven to be right,

“Hey man.” Jared my friend greeted me, actually an ex-friend now, his parents forbid him to be my friend couple years ago.

“Hi J, t’s up,” I always called him J, I didn’t pay attention to him though, I closed my locker and started to head for the entrance.

He followed me and I didn’t bother to pay attention because I didn’t want to act like I was okay with hanging out with the best friend who stopped being one a long time ago. I know it wasn’t his fault, and that his parents had every reason for forbidding him to hang out with me. I totally accepted that, even though he still wanted to be my friend I thought it would be better for him to stay away from me like everyone else. I stopped thinking about it and paced faster to leave him further behind, but something he said stopped me. Almost like a body shut down.

“Hey, I just wanted to tell you that Veronica was brought to the hospital, and she is in a very bad shape man. And as usual nobody knows what happened to her.” I could see him feeling sorry for me and that comforted me a little, at least he hadn’t given up on me and judge me like everyone else.

“So you mean she is alive?” my question was suspicious but he understood what I meant, so he nodded lightly. Relief filled my body, but then, that didn’t mean everything was fine because she was still taken to the ICU.

That realization took away the relief; and guilty, sorrow and worry replaced it. Especially the guilty was more powerful than any other feeling I was feeling. I know it sounds crazy, right? Feeling guilty because somebody else got sick and I wasn’t even the one who gave her the disease or whatever it was.

“Where was she taken, J?” I asked him not willing to waste another second.

“The central hospital.” I didn’t need any other explanation, I rushed outside to my car,

And at that time I started mumbling to myself, ‘why are all these things happening to me? Why do things have to fall apart around me?’ these were the questions I never found answers for, and I’d found myself asking more often for the past few years.

‘Please, please, please she has to live, I can’t take this anymore’ I kept mumbling because I knew things would get worse any time, so I said that as a wish.

I got in my car and raced out of school to the hospital. The rules and laws were the last thing in my mind at that time, so I didn’t care if I broke any. The hospital was a few miles away, and it was the biggest hospital in town with best doctors. I saw her face while I was on my way there and how happy she was just yesterday, and now she was in ICU fighting for her life.

‘Maybe I have a Karma,’ I thought, but I never did anything to anyone. I’m not saying that I’m a saint, I mean I never fought with anyone and always tried to take care of even the smallest creatures. I’d done some bad things too but not enough to deserve all the emotional torture I was going through in my life. I guess I should’ve known. I shouldn’t have fallen in love with her, I should’ve stayed away. And now the same thing was happening to her, just like Clara and Sarah my first girlfriends who just died strangely.

‘What is wrong with me?’ frustrated I asked myself while parking at the parking lot that was in front of the hospital. There was a lot of people moving from every direction just as usual, it was a big hospital so it had lots of activities.

I got out and rushed to the reception where I found Veronica’s parents sitting on one of the chairs with their hands wrapped around each other. I felt guiltier seeing them, I almost turned and leave because I was sure that they’d heard about me by now. And they must’ve been super furious with me, for ruining theirs and their Daughter’s life.

It was only three months since we started dating. And it was during that time they arrived in town, so they were practically new in town, but now their daughter was fighting for her life. All because she was involved with the wrong person, me.

“Steven?” a woman voice called from behind and I assumed it was Veronica’s mother. She was very fond of me, but Veronica’s father not so much. Most of the time I went to their house he was always still at work, so we didn’t know each other that much.

I turned around and her eyes were wet with heavy sob. Her husband wasn’t crying, but his eyes were filled with fury and rage. I figured he already knew that I carry bad luck with me wherever I go and his daughter’s incident was all because of me.

I paced closer to them with my head glued down to the floor, but suddenly I felt someone hugging me,

“I’m so sorry for what happened to your daughter Mr. And Mrs. Denvas.” I murmured to her ears but generally I meant it for both of them.

She pulled away, “it wasn’t your fault, and on the contrary she was very excited to see you today.” It felt like she was trying to make me feel good about myself. The thing is, that was impossible. It’d happened too many times to think otherwise.

It did made me feel good for couple seconds though. But then looking at those lovely gray pupils and messed up eye lashes because of crying, and to see that face with the shape of heart so sad took all the comfort with it. Looking at her husband made it even harder, but it seemed like he didn’t tell his wife about what he’d already heard about me. I didn’t know if I was supposed to be grateful for it or not.

He was quiet the whole time and his gaze never changed, like he was forcing something in or out of his mind. He was a tall man with a muscular body, but sweet face with well-cut beard from his chin and heavy eyebrows; which were now squeezed to each other. May be he was thinking of kicking me out, but he didn’t want to make a scene in the hospital in front of everyone.

“Go to room number seven on the left, you’ll see her.” Veronica’s mother directed me, while resting her head on her husband’s chest.

But before I could go I made a mistake of looking at his eyes. He didn’t object me going, but he was clearly not agreeing either. Since he couldn’t do anything to stop me without alerting his wife, he gave me this warning glare and he was angrily mumbling through his teeth,

“Don’t you dare, do anything to my daughter!”

Quickly I moved my eyes away and started walking through the hallway and not long I found ward number seven, thankful she was out of ICU. Maybe she was going to be okay after all even though she was still unconscious. I looked through the door glass and I saw Veronica lying there unconscious with tubes everywhere. She looked pale and almost white like snow, and there was no a single mark on her body.

But her beauty was still obvious. Her long well shaped face with her long eyelashes going all the way down to the bottom of her eyes. Her smooth full red lips with the shape of heart. Her slender arms and legs, she was quite tall almost my height, but I was taller a few inches. Then, I remembered her vanilla scent, her favorite perfume, damn she smelled good.

“Aren’t you going to get inside?” I jumped as I gasped out of shock.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.” It was a nurse in uniform, she looked surprised to my reaction, but recovered quickly.

“No, I need to go pick up my sister from school.” Quickly I started leaving, I didn’t even realize how I was on that door staring at Veronica.

The nurse got in and I headed to the exit, but before I could leave I passed by the reception. There I found Veronica father sitting his head buried in his hands gazing at the floor. Quickly, I rushed to the door so that he wouldn’t see me because his wife was not there.

Once I got out side I started to breathe again. I didn’t even realize that I held breathe before. But this was so not fair, I never did anything to her and I wouldn’t even dream of doing such thing because I loved her. But now I was the one playing the criminal, why is that?

Was it because somewhere deep inside me thought that, there was a portion for me to what happened to her. That’s absurd, I could never do anything to anyone even when I was bullied I couldn’t do anything, let alone send someone I love to hospital. My girlfriend. And put her in a critical condition like that, I pushed that thought away. I got in the car and left for school where Ashley was waiting for me. At least this time I wasn’t going to be late, so she wouldn’t get angry at me, as she always did every morning.

Because the hospital wasn’t very far away and she didn’t get out of practice very early, that was to my advantage. I couldn’t let her be mad at me because she was the only person who truly understood me and I felt free talking to her about my problems. I was glad that she was my younger sister. Even though I was just adopted by her mother, she still felt like a real sister to me.

I pulled over at the parking lot and I got to wait for her. Everyone that was passing gawked at me, and it was unbearable. How could I manage to make everybody hate me? Most of them I didn’t even know, besides I’d never hated anyone in my life. In fact I’d always try to have as many friends as I could, but failed miserably.

After couple minutes Ashley showed up and once she saw me, her face was soft and concerned. Her blue eyes and heart shaped little face was very sad. I knew she was sad for me because she already heard what happened to Veronica. She knew what people were thinking of me, that I magically put Veronica in the hospital just like the way I’d killed my first two girlfriends.

The moment she reached to me, she threw herself to me and hugged me tight. She was touched by what happened even more than I did, and that’s why I always loved and trusted her.

“I’m so sorry, you don’t deserve any of this.” She murmured under my ear sadly.

I pulled away gently and saw few drops of tears coming from her eyes, “hey, why are you crying?” I asked touched by her emotion, not that I was surprised by her reaction. I always knew that she cared deeply for me, and I was thankful for that.