CHAPTER 8

I went to my locker and she followed. She stood next to it, and during all that time I refused to speak to her. But that didn’t seem to bother her at all. She stood there leaning against the locker next to me without any care in the world. And that was super irritating.

“What do you want from me?” I blurted out at her, which made everyone that was passing by to turn and look at me,

“Oh, look, he speaks. I thought you turned mute overnight,” it was shocking how calm she was. It was as if nothing I did could affect her.

“Groh!” I groaned in anger and I started to go to class. I never met someone so irritating. Up to the point where you want to strangle her, just so that she could stop pestering you.

This girl was determined to make my life a living hell, without including how upside down my life already was over these couple years. She followed me and at some point this was the only time that I was actually grateful she followed me, because I ran into Bratton on my way to class. Suddenly she came to my rescue, like nothing I did and kept doing bothered her.

What kind of person was she? That person who has nothing that actually bothered her. The person that can be pretty childish and stupid at times, and then again she could be pretty courageous and face the most stubborn person in school. At the same time, she could be this nerd who understood everything in class.

Like seriously, what was her deal? I couldn’t real place her anywhere. She could fit anywhere and at the same time, she couldn’t. Except, for the part where she tried to be a pain in the ass to me, a leech that would not go away. Yes, she helped me somehow, but being with me was going to put her in danger and I didn’t want that for her. If only she could listen to what everyone was saying and believe that it was true all of it; I wouldn’t need to try so hard to push her away.

While my thoughts were still scrambling inside of head the teacher came in couple minutes later. After, everyone was seated and because the blonde girl was so fixated with me, she couldn’t make any friends of her own. Probably, because she was first, crazy and second, because she was interested in me, sort of. And that was not acceptable to lots of people in school.

I couldn’t seem to be able to stop thinking about her. I don’t know if it was because I was worried about her or if it was because I wanted to know more about her. As if I knew anything about her anyway. Either way I pushed everything from my mind and tried to focus on what the teacher was teaching. Only to make my mind even more jammed than before, wasn’t a big fan of math anymore. But I tried to catch as much as I could.

God, I was so messed up. I wasn’t used to be like this, my life was simple with perfect grades at school and lots of friends. I was just as famous as Bratton, but now I was nothing.

What happened?

That was the question I couldn’t find the answer for. It was this big fog which covered the rest of my life. Walking out of it didn’t seem like an option because it felt like something was following me like a shadow, or there was some part of me which I wasn’t aware of that was doing all these terrible things. I couldn’t tell what the hell made my life so miserable.

To me, life was one big torture chamber which I couldn’t escape from. And that the pain, I was supposed to endure it myself. Because whenever I got something or someone to sooth the pain life took that person away from me as well.

What wrong did I do? None or at least that I could remember. Mom always raised us to be good people, so I couldn’t harm anyone. Besides there was this guilty I could feel, which was more like a person now, I couldn’t escape from whenever I did something wrong to somebody.

I went from one class to another and thankful the girl went to different classes this time. At least until lunch when she came back with full speed. I don’t know if she was doing it deliberately to annoy me or she was just trying to be my friend. Because I was growing tired of her stubbornness and her annoyance. I just wanted to be alone.

I took my usual table, which was as well abandoned with people, just like me. I believe they thought that the table had some stain of my karma or curse or whatever it was, I didn’t know what to call it anymore. Just as I sat down she came right after me and sat at the other side. The funny thing was, she never stopped smiling. Well, except for the time she was smashing Bratton’s face on the table.

“Tell me what you want and I will gladly give it to you, just so that you can leave me alone.” I whined because I didn’t see any choice left for me.

“I want you to stop resisting. Why don’t you let me in? For once. Don’t you get tired? As for me I can do this forever.” She was confident and concerned at the same time. Her eyes were fixated on mine showing determination, but I wasn’t ready to give in.

“Look, you don’t know me. And for all I know, I don’t know you either. So, stay the hell out of my life.” I blurted at her as I was leaning forward on the table to get closer to her face and to put as much venom in my voice as I could, hoping somehow I could scare her. Disappointedly she didn’t eve flinch, and no sign of effect of my words at all, her expression was blank.

“You need me Steven, even though it might be hard for you to understand at this time.” She sounded different this time, like she actually cared about me. But her words didn’t make sense to me.

“What are you talking about?” I frowned in confusion but I pushed the question away to avoid more conversation because I thought it was her way of luring me to her trap. But I was clever than that,

“You know what? Forget it, stay away from me. I WILL NEVER NEED SOMEONE LIKE YOU.” I spit at her and this time I saw a little effect of my words before she covered it. She didn’t try to say anything this time, but the pain came back again and I flinched. I ignored it and got out of the table and headed out of the cafeteria, out of school compound. I was expecting her to follow me, but she didn’t. I took my car and I was on my way to the hospital.

I was glad that I got to see Veronica again, at least to know how she was doing. And I was pretty sure that she already heard about me by now. Therefore, the only question left was how she was going to take it. Well, for one it depends on how she was going to be told the story. I mean if she was told that her boyfriend was a life sucking monster. That would definitely make her hate me forever.

But unfortunately for me that was exactly what people would’ve told her? Then they were going to start listing to her trails of death that I was somehow involved or caused or whatever it was that happened then. By the time I hit the brakes I was already at the hospital. And because I knew where she was, I just took off and head to the ward she was in.

At first I hesitated because I wasn’t sure if she wanted to see me. And I wasn’t ready to face another rejection, not from her too. It would be too painful, but I was already at the hospital, and going back home would be absurd. I approached the room she was in.