CHAPTER 5

“Hi,” she greeted, “I didn’t see you in third class, and I almost thought you went home with all the rumors around.” She was in almost all of my classes, I wasn’t surprised she asked.

“What rumors?” that was the only thing I was interested in, at least. Finally I would know what the circus was about.

“Didn’t you hear the girl at the hospital got worse last night? She practically was in the brink of death,” her careless talking made my heart sink and my guilty shot up. Another person died because of me. But I had to make sure first.

“So, you are telling me she died.” I asked impatiently,

“No, not yet. She got better this morning, but she still in a coma.” She seemed like she didn’t know she was talking about my girlfriend and she was there because of me. But I was pretty sure she knew it, she just didn’t believe it. Which only meant she was new here and she had doubts like everyone new in school would until they got in a coma or even death.

Hearing that made me want to go see her. But remembering how Veronica’s father looked at me, I was pretty sure he would not hold himself back this time. So I decided to wait until she woke up, if she was going to wake up.

“I need to go to class.” I said as I was getting up to leave.

“I’m coming with you, we have the same class after lunch, remember?” she said like it was obvious. I didn’t know if she remembered that we met just yesterday shortly and I saw her in my first class today, that’s it. Because she acted like we were already best friends or something.

My next class was Arts, the one class I enjoyed being in. There was no too many prying eyes and the ones that were there always stuck in their businesses. This was the class that I didn’t feel like such a weirdo. Well, the blonde girl was one of those girls who doesn’t give up easily, the stubborn kind of girl. She sat right next to me despite the death glare I gave her. So since acting angry wasn’t helping I chose to ignore her the whole period.

And I was glad at least it was time to go home when the class was over. Even though the girl kept following me, and the surprising thing was that she never seemed to be affected with my cold act. I couldn’t tell if she was like a child who was just curios and would not give up or it was an actual grown girl who was really good at pestering people. She was just clinging to me, it’s a good thing I was in desire to embarrass her in front of everybody, so I went to my car while she was following me behind.

Except this time she wasn’t following me, she parked her car next to mine, so she was practically going to her car. Before she got in, she said goodbye to me cheerfully with a wide smile, then she got in and left. For a second I stood there puzzled and people looking at me. And I knew exactly what they were thinking about. That I lured another girl in my trap yet again. They thought that I’d found my next victim, while all I was trying to do was keep that ‘victim’ away from me. I didn’t want to hurt anybody anymore. But who would believe me anyway.

“Come on Steve, let’s go home.” I heard someone calling from the side of the car as I was lost in my thoughts.

I looked up and saw Ashley looking at me with sympathy and that I told you so kind of look. She said the day before that Veronica was not dead yet and well, everybody heard what happened to her. She almost died again last night. Who knows what was going to happen tomorrow.

“Come on.” She said again, and that’s when I registered what I had to do.

I unlocked the driver’s door then I let her in after opening the passenger door. And without talking I took off and we were off the school compound. Even though she didn’t speak I knew what she was thinking about. She was thinking that those people had no right to treat me like that. And that out of all the people in the world I was the wrong person to be suffering.

I used to believe that, but now I was starting to wonder if I was truly innocent. If I had nothing to do with the deaths of all those people. If I was never involved with them in the first place; would they still be alive until now? Too bad I would never find out. My only concern now was too see Veronica get better and alive. And I promised myself that I was never going to involve myself in anybody’s life again. I was born to be alone and I was going to embrace that. To be alone is better than to have your loved ones killed because of you.

“Can I ask what you are thinking about?” Ashley startled me from my thoughts.

I looked at her, the only person I never got to lose. The only person who had been with me through it all, the only person who never doubted my innocence. Before I could drift even further I pushed the thoughts away.

I looked at her, “You know what I’m thinking about,” then turned my head back on the road and focused there so that I wouldn’t have to see her hurting expression.

She didn’t say anything after, but just sighed and kept looking out the window. She knew there was no reason to repeat the same old words over again. Because she knew it wasn’t helping. She and I knew that it was somehow my fault now. My involvement with Veronica somehow brought her all the trouble she was into right now.

Today I drove a little bit roughly. We arrived home a little bit too early than our usual time and Ashley didn’t complain this time because she knew I had plenty in my mind. Soon after I got out of the car I went straight to my room to finish my homework first. I preferred it that way so that I will be done by dinner time.

And usually we never talked about school problems at home, because we never wanted to upset mom. She was a busy woman and considering how much she loved us, hearing what had been going on in school she would have caused even more trouble. And that would’ve made me look even creepier, so Ashley and I decided to keep school problems under our abs. We talked about only those things which mattered, like homework’s and school activities. Before I could know it, Ashley came barging in my room to tell me that dinner was ready. The food was nice and it relaxed me fairly.

After dinner, I knew I was going to have a beautiful sleep, so without wasting time I rushed to my room after saying goodnight to mom and Ashley. I jumped into my bed after putting on my pajamas, and within matter of seconds I drifted into a deep slumber which was utterly refreshing and nightmare free.

The next day I woke up pretty early. I went to the bathroom to get shower right away. So that I could use the time I needed without worrying about Ashley being angry at me. And as every morning I always wondered how my day was going to be. Was I going to get even more bad news? What was going to happen to Veronica? What was going to happen to me? I shoved all the coming up questions before I could get frustrated. I wanted this day to be less depressing and thinking about my problems wasn’t helping. I finished my shower and went back to my room.

And right at that moment the alarm went off, which was a sign that I woke up earlier than usual. I was going to have a decent breakfast and wouldn’t have to worry about Ashley or her anger. I took my blue jeans and long sleeved blue shirt and put on my supra, and in no time I was ready. I went to my table and started to arrange my books in my back pack.

Soon after I finished my door was opened and I knew it was Ashley. She was coming to wake me up but she sighed loudly after seeing that I was ready,

“Hey Sis,” I greeted her turning to face her. Her face was very suspicious like she was trying to make up something in her mind. I guess I knew why because it wasn’t my style to wake up so early in the morning, but today I did and that was suspicious to her.

She quickly recovered and she was back to her normal self, “Hey brother,” she greeted charmingly with a wide smile of satisfaction.

“What is that smile for?” I asked sarcastically because it was obviously unnecessary,

“For not having to argue with you today. At least today I can have a break.” She replied as sarcastic as I first asked then she smiled widely again.

“Hahaha, very funny, but you are always the one who starts the arguments.”

“Yes, because of your laziness and you always make us be late for school, sloth.” She snapped at me and I couldn’t accept defeat,

“Hey don’t call me sloth,” I raised my voice, “and I’m not lazy, it’s not my fault that I enjoy taking shower and you don’t.” she didn’t like my sarcasm so she got angry,

“Don’t make excuses, sloth you are.” She put emphasis on the sloth so that she can get back at me, to get me mad.

“Don’t call me that Ashley,” I yelled at her, “what does it even mean?” then I asked because I didn’t know why she called me that.

She smirked evilly, “Why don’t you…?” before she could finish the door was opened again.

“That’s enough guys come on downstairs and have breakfast before you run late for school arguing over nothing,” mom called from the door post.

“Yes, mom.” We both said lowly because we knew she always hated us arguing.

“Why do you always do that?” Ashley whispered to me,

“Do what?” I asked my brow raised as in confusion.

“Make a big deal out of everything I say,” she explained with her eyebrows frowned in irritation.

“I don’t know why, by the way sorry for yelling at you back there,” I apologized and poked her back a little in mockery as I always did soon after we argue,

“It’s okay, I’m used to it.” She mumbled faintly as if tired of my apologies.

“Hey, wait a minute.” I raised my voice again starting another argument,

“There you go again.” She rolled her eyes and put on a bored expression.

“But,” she cut me off before I could continue.

“Alright, you win. Because I said today was my break, I don’t want to argue with you.” She complained while pulling a chair by the dining table,

“Steven, stop bugging your sister now. That’s enough.” Mom chipped in and she talked softly as she usually did, I never heard her yell for as long as I can remember. Her voice was always soft and humble, almost melodic.

“Thank you.” Ashley sighed and put her hands on the table as if very exhausted.

I shrugged and leaned back on my chair waiting for breakfast which mom was finishing up preparing. And in no time she finished and brought everything at the table, there was some sausages and boiled eggs which neither Ashley nor I liked very much. But mom always insisted us to eat for our own good, and orange juice, my favorite.

“Mom, I don’t see my lemonade,” Ashley complained after seeing only orange juice.

“I didn’t forget you dear,” mom said softly coming with a jar of lemonade.

Ashley sighed because that was her favorite, she liked to drink it for breakfast. For a second she thought mom forgot about her and all over sudden she was furious. But after seeing mom coming with it the anger vanished. She always had bad temper.

“Okay, hurry up and go to school.” Mom said after setting the table and giving us kisses at the temple she went to her room to get ready for work.

After breakfast we went to the garage and headed to school. Today I didn’t have to drive that fast because were pretty early, even earlier than usual.

“Hey, are you ready for this?” Ashley asked cautiously not to upset me, but I wouldn’t because it was inevitable to talk about it.

And honestly, without any doubt I wasn’t ready for whatever that was waiting for me at school, but I had to face it anyway. I sighed loudly as if it was just a very simple thing to me while it wasn’t, “Yah, absolutely.” I lied to make her comfortable and at ease.

Even though what was happening to me and concerned her very little, still she was very worried. That’s how she was.

“Are you sure? Because I’m not.” she admitted her worries, which was just obvious on her features.

“Pretty sure, and don’t worry everyone has probably already forgotten about it.” My words were certain but my face was trying hard to betray me as I was trying to put on a decent smile, which almost came out as a grimace.

It was that kind of expression which said ‘everything’s going to be fine, kind of’ while nothing was fine was. Thank god Ashley bought it and we were quiet for the rest of the way up until school. Probably because we were both very worried, so we were waiting silently to see everyone’s face once we got to school.

It was easy for people to recognize me because I was driving Dodge one of the rarest cars in our town. Mom forced me to have it because she loved it and she wanted my car to be unique so here I was. Once I parked my car fear and worry invaded my body. Not really sure if I wanted to get out of my car. I took a peek outside the car and saw few eyes glaring at the car and that made things even worse.

I took deep breathes, inhale and exhale couple times to gain my confidence. Ashley noticed how intense I became and she said,

“I can go in with you if you want,” She offered,

“No, I got this,” I refused because I didn’t want to be seen like I was a weakling that I had to rely on my little sister. Yes, Ashley was way more confident than I was, but to show that to everyone was completely unacceptable, “go ahead, I can handle this,” I continued,

“Okay.” Then she got out of the car.

I took another gulp of air and exhaled then I opened the door to get out. I pointed down my head so that I wouldn’t see all those eyes which looked viciously and ferociously like they wanted to tear me in pieces.

I walked down the hallway and I could still feel those eyes burning the back of my head because of the hateful stares. This was the point where I wished I could die or vanish or just be swallowed by the earth. Or stop existing because it was too much. I wanted to be left alone. I never did anything to anybody or those people. How many times was I supposed to repeat myself? I wish I could shout out loud.

I reached my locker and even before I could open it I was slammed against it hard. ‘Jerk’ I thought I my mind. I turned around to see the person and guess who, it was Bratton. ‘Typical’ I snarled between my teeth. Great, my morning was just perfect. I stared at him calmly because I was already used to his bullying,